literature

Guilt

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Literature Text

Loki was shocked when he saw icy clouds in front of his mouth. He felt an icy, well known shiver ran down his spine.
"It has been a while," he heard a voice behind him. He hardly dared to turn to her.
"Angrboda" gasped the God. "How unexpectedly to meet you here on Midgard."
The giant grinned. Her big red eyes fxed him and her long black hair blowed in the wind while she slowly went to Loki. Her skin was pale, so pale that you could see her veins through it, which gave her body a bluish sheen. Coldness enveloped her.
"Did you really think, I wouldn`t be able to find you, Loki," she said with a smile on her blood-red lips. "I told you that I will always find you. That you can`t escape or hide you.”
Loki tried to utter a cramped smile. "I must admit, I did not expect you here. I'm a little surprised. "
"So?" They stood in front of him and her cold hand stroked the God`s cheek. The giantess was a head taller than Loki and her fingers adorned long, sharp nails. All in all, she was a menacing figure. "It surprises me a little that you did not count on my presence," she continued, circling Loki without leaving her hands of him. "I thought we had made a clear agreement."
Loki swallowed.
"Do you remember about it, my dear Loki?"
"How could I forget that," he answered with a sigh.
"Then I wonder why I am finding you here on Midgard?" She looked at Loki with a piercing stare.
"Well," Loki grinned. "I unfortunately can not leave Midgard. I am banished to this world. However, even I am powerless. So sorry for me, dearest Angrboda. "
The giant stared for a moment just quietly and silently, until she fell suddenly into a peal of laughter.
"Oh, you fool! Do you think to deceive me, Loki? We made a deal and you did not meet your target. But I did! "
Angrboda watched Hell.
"I gave birth to the children, you wished. The children whose the Aesir and all gods frightened  and whose could lead all of them into damnation." With a powerful thrust she pushed Loki to the ground. "The children whose you wanted to lead to overthrow the throne of the gods, but you've failed miserably."
Loki in front of her on his knees and clenched his teeth. He felt her cold breath on his neck. "You know what your failure means, Loki." Angrboda looked down at him while he turned to her staring at her in anger. But the giant grinned. "You have promised yourself to me if you lost against the Aesir, Loki! "
Slowly the God stood up. "Well, yes, I would love to fulfill my duties, Angrboda, but like I said, I can not leave Midgard and I doubt that you want to spend your time with me on Midgard. So I think  unfortunately, as much as it hurts me to say but I can not fulfill my promise. I have lost against the gods and now I must add their laws and my fate. I'm trapped here. I can not come with you to Jotunheim. I am awfully sorry. "An impish grin graced Loki's face for a moment, but it disappeared as fast as he noticed how the giantess stared to the hut with an evil smile.
"You say you can`t leave, Loki," she said with an condescending voice. "I rather think you meant "want "." Grinning she walked to him, put her arms around his shoulders without looking away from the cottage. "Maybe you can fool the gods, but not me, little liar. A rogue like surely would find a way out of his cell if you want."
 Loki could see their long sharp teeth, while she pressed his body against hers, grinning broadly. "But maybe you just need a good reason." She laughed and Loki could feel her nails dug into his back. "You will come to me and you will be mine, Loki, as my husband or prisoner. It doesn`t make a big difference? "
She breathed her cold breath in my ear. "I've missed you, my love and I can not wait to call you mine again."
With that, she was gone. Loki felt a sharp pain in his temples and in his chest. Gasping, he fell to the ground. A shrill cry escaped his throat. It took a moment until he was in his right mind. But then he suddenly jumped up and ran to the hut. A panic came over him as he opened the front door staring onto the empty bed.  His eyes widened in shock. Driven by desperation, he hurried toward the small room to the bathroom. But it was empty too. She was gone. Angrboda had taken her with her.
Horrified slumped Loki. His beloved in Angrobas hands. How long could she survive there? What would the terrible Angroba to do with her?
In misery Loki looked over his shoulder. Behind him appeared Hel. Her face was expressionless as usual.
"You," gasped the God. "You can bring me Jotunheim, can`t you?!" Loki looked into a small kitchenette. At small Harken several sharpened knives hanging on the wall.
But Hel just shook her head. "Father, you know that I can`t bring souls back to life who have come to me by their own hand. You have no other choice than to wait. Midgard itself wither the gods. "
"And how long do I have to endure?"
"I do not know, father, after all, you're the first God with this fate. Unless you find someone who cut life out from your body first. "
Loki groaned.
"Unfortunately you have ensured that the inhabitants of Midgard think you are something they call devil," continued Hel. "What in their eyes is immortal and to be avoided. I think it will be hard for you to end your life prematurely without your own work. "
"You can not do this to me," cried Loki against his daughter.
"I can do nothing, father," she replied calmly and disappeared as suddenly as they had appeared.
Whimpering remained Loki. He had to admit to himself that he had underestimated Angrboda. It was his plan to bring doom to Asgard and Odin, but not to himself.  At that time he was sure that his plan would work. His pride had not even allowed him to suspect he could ever fail. That he would ever be forced to comply with her absurd conditions. Damned on the side of this giant. Although she was the mother of his three children, he never had the intention to stay with her for eternity. Just the thought let him shiver.

Loki had just gone to bed and curled up cowering. He wanted to forget everything, leave everything behind, when suddenly it started to crackle in the fireplace. With tired eyes, he looked at the flames. Wasn`t the fire already burn down in the fireplace ? In any case, Loki could not remember to have fanned a new one.
But now the flames danced and grew bigger and bigger. The eyes of God widened as the fire started to fill the room. Distraught, he straightened up again. The light of the flames blinded his eyes and he should better have left the burning room, but he was stunned.
Suddenly the flames took on contours, came together to form a burning figure, which went to Loki slowly. Loki swallowed, but did not let his gaze from the Fiery. The flames were small, turned to a shiny, reddish skin, to arms and legs, to a whole face shaped with a pointed nose and a cheeky grin, which was well known to Loki.
"Is it visiting day today?" growled Loki. "What do you want here, Logi? I have no interest in any of your games! Just leave me alone" The god of the fire gave the giant before him an evil look, but he seemed quite unaware of Loki's words.
"I am not here for silly jokes either," replied Logi. "But you showed interest in someone, my dear Loki, without knowing her origin and it is hard to overlook your depression."
Loki looked at him critically. "What're you talking about?"
The fire giant laughed. "I'm not surprised that my little spark has sparked your interest, Firegod. "
"Your little spark?" Said Loki. He grew up in an idea.
"Once I drove through the plains as a wildefire, leaving little spark behind, a little light, a gentle flame that flashed all alone. Unlike the others, she did not want to be extinguished. So I took her  and brought her to my brother the wind that he wore the small flame into the worlds. Chance brought it about that her light flamed up in Asgard in the arms of an ordinary arsine, who had just lost her child and she took her with her. She gave her the name Sigyn. "
Loki stared at him incredulously. "Sigyn" he repeated. At last he knew her name. "Then, she is your daughter?"
Logi brought out in laughter again and his hair swirled like flames. "Daughter, sister, whatever. She is not born by a mother, nor begotten by a father. She arosed simply. Grown from a small spark. But she is certainly a part of me, the fire itself, as I said before, it does not surprise me that she got your attention and you hers. The firegod and his flame. "
She was a flame. The woman he loved was created from a single spark of a wildfire and it was  the wind, which had carried her to Asgard and eventually to him. Loki could hardly believe it, but now he understood her enthusiasm for the fire and why she could see it with their eyes blind. The twitching and dancing flames, that all was herself. She could see herself dancing and he as a god of fire could make her dance, could fill her with new life again and again.
"Does she know who she is?" asked Loki the firegiant after a little while.
"I think she has forgotten it during the years she spent in Asgard." Logi sat next to God. “But one thing is certain. In the cold and the ice of Jotunheims she will inevitably extinguished. It is not a good world for fire. "
"It is no good world for anyone", added Loki.
"With Angrboda you've made a great enemy," said Logi.
Loki sighed deeply. "I wish she would describe herself like my enemy. With most of them I have a better relationship than with her."
Logi gave him a hefty pat on the back. The God cried out. It felt as if his back burned. With an evil eye he looked at Logi: "Why are you come here now? You have told me much, but you did not tell me that! "
"Loki, I, as the fire itself can not rescue Sigyn from the ice. The iceworld is also dangerous for me as well. But you as a frostgiant and a firegod are able to live in all kind of worlds, doesn`t matter if they are still so cold and yet so hot. But I have learned that you are not able to leave Midgard. "
"The gods have banished me here. Midgard is my prison”, said Loki to the giant.
"Well”, answered Logi. “I am the fire itself, I follow other laws than the gods and I will bring you to Jotunheim. I do not care about you, but I do about my spark. "
Loki nodded. "That is also in my interest."
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UnbearableME's avatar
do you know the story of fenrir being chained thats my personal favourite from norse (or something) mythology :/